February 1, 2015

Journey from ‘OR’ to ‘AND’ #UseYourAnd


Journey from ‘OR’ to ‘AND’

For most part of my life, I lived in a cocooned safety net weaved around me by my parents. No hostels, no late night parties, no night outs at friends place, and no solo travelling except for the daily predictable route of school, college or office.

I always wondered what it was to live all by yourself! For me the thought of living alone and managing my life seemed so exciting and yet so terrifying.  I would sometimes weave stories in my head around fictional circumstances where I would be living in a far off distant land and facing the whole gamut of challenges which life presents to a lonely home dweller. But once I was married, these feelings started to sink into oblivion, as I consoled myself that I will never be able to live my adventure anymore.

Sometimes life surprises you. In fact, it leaves you absolutely confused. I was working in a software organization and from nowhere; an opportunity to travel and work in the United States presented itself to me. I had been working hard, spending sleepless nights. But never did I hope that, my manager would bring up my name for an onsite travel for new project. The best I was hoping for was a promotion.
It was absolutely unimaginable. I never asked for an opportunity to travel. How in the world he chose me? Why in the world he chose me? Doesn’t he know I am married? How can I leave behind my husband and go and work in a foreign land for a year. This is ridiculous.

There was a storm of thoughts pulling me back. But there was also a hurricane of excitement building inside my heart. “What if I try this? I have never done this before in my life. Is this not what I always longed for? What an adventure it would be! Oh lord, I wish I could go…”

I had a choice. Stay back and live the same life I was living. Or leap out and explore the world on my own.  A very difficult choice!

I was also scared of all the moral policing that would take place if I chose to travel. “Once you are married you have to be with your husband. If you get such an opportunity you should not accept unless your husband is travelling with you as well.” Surprisingly, it doesn’t work the other way round. If your husband is presented with such an opportunity, a wife must dutifully follow him where ever he is going; leaving behind her job, friends and family.

But I was really lucky. My husband was extremely supportive and encouraged me to take the step; I wanted to take so badly but was scared to take. He let me go, so that I could experience the world all by myself.
There were people who questioned my judgment of living away from my husband for so long. But the most important person in my life had the sound judgment of letting me live my dream.

I travelled and worked abroad for more than a year. I got to see almost the whole of the United States and a few places in Canada. Met several new people, made many wonderful friends and added loads of experience in my life’s little notebook. This journey was the most valuable. Not only in terms of experiencing a new culture or learning to be on my own. But most importantly in terms of respecting, loving and valuing my family much more than ever before, for it is so true that the distance makes the heart grow fonder.

The woman defined above is one of my most adorned cousins. I am glad you #UseYourAnd

I am a Woman - set me free!

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus

1 comment:

  1. Props to you (and your supportive husband) for the decision! I've always believed that more often than not, the stumbling blocks we face in front of any daunting challenge are set by us, ourselves. Glad you took the plunge and enjoyed it so much. :)


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